


met you in the dark (you lit me up)

by girlmadeofstars



Series: mosaic broken hearts [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 08:26:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9539687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlmadeofstars/pseuds/girlmadeofstars
Summary: it starts like this:the elevator doors are closing, and aaron, after seeing one of the cheerleaders inside, doesn't bother running for it.she holds the door for him anyway. she's got curly hair, and dark brown skin. her eyes are a bright green that he doesn't expect when she stares down at him. she's half a head taller, but he finds that he doesn't mind looking up to her."hello," she says, her eyes lighting up, and aaron thinks:oh. oh no.





	

it starts like this:

the elevator doors are closing, and aaron, after seeing one of the cheerleaders inside, doesn't bother running for it.

she holds the door for him anyway. she's got short curly hair, and dark brown skin. her eyes are a bright green that he doesn't expect when she stares down at him. she's half a head taller, but he finds that he doesn't mind looking up to her. her eyes drop to his chest, and he knows his soul mark is visible through this shirt, especially when it's near see-through from sweat after his run. they watch his anatomical heart bleed red together, and her fingers are warm when she reaches down to touch it (he notices, because he hasn't felt warmth in years. in ever, maybe).

"hello," she says, her eyes lighting up, and aaron thinks:  _oh. oh no._

*

he finds himself watching her at games, and he wonders how he ever missed her before. she shines so bright that sometimes he thinks he's looking at the sun instead of a girl. she shines so bright that sometimes he thinks she'll blind him if he looks too long. he’s head over heels for her. he falls so fast that it would be more justified to say he  _crashed_.

she cheers the loudest when he tackles one of the opposing strikers, and she waves at him afterwards. aaron raises his hand in acknowledgement, and just manages to drop it before andrew sees.

she frowns at him for a second- a smile stretches across her face so quickly after that he thinks he imagined it- and turns away.

"i made a deal," he tells her later, and she raises an eyebrow. "i made a promise to him."

katelyn sighs, but tangles their fingers together. "that's understandable," she says, even though it's anything but. "but i think you need to make a promise to yourself, as well."

*

katelyn is soft in all the ways aaron is hard, she is light in all the ways he is dark. "we compliment each other," he tells her, one night. she gently closes her book. 

"we're not as different as you like to pretend," she answers. later, back in her room, he kisses her until he forgets his name. her skin is soft under his hands, and he has trouble reconciling her hard smile with this softness. 

"i don't think you're as tough as you like to pretend," he tells her, and she laughs.

"maybe not," she agrees, voice light. "but i'm not as soft as you'd like to think, either."

katelyn is loud, and her laugh takes up all the space in the room, in the world, and her smile takes up all the space in aaron’s head, where before, aaron had kept useful things like directions, and a detailed guide about every marvel superhero ever, in their proper places. and so, of course, sleeping with katelyn is odd, at first, because she takes up all of the space in the bed, in his head. she's there in his every heart beat, in his every breath. she takes over his life so quickly and so painlessly that he doesn't even notice, at first. 

(he is not used to good things consuming him. he has been swallowed whole by pain, and he has swallowed it right back. he has been addicted to many things in life, but katelyn is not one of them.

when he was coming off the drugs, he ate canned soup and threw shampoo bottles at the door. "let me out," he demanded, and andrew laughed, cold and cruel. aaron remembers thinking that he was going to die without the drugs, without something to numb the pain.

katelyn is not like this. katelyn is the light after a very long, very dark day. aaron thinks that if katelyn weren't around, he would simply cease to exist.)

in the trashy romance novels he reads when he's waiting for katelyn to finish showering, they compare love to drugs, they liken kissing with losing control. he knows better. being with katelyn is the one thing he has ever chosen for himself. it is the one thing that keeps him grounded, that clears his mind. being with katelyn is like putting on glasses after a lifetime of being blind: he is finally able to see.

"i think i love you," he tells her, when she comes out of the bathroom. her hair is dripping wet, and she's only in her underwear. she looks at him for a moment, thinking, before she smiles brightly at him. it feels like someone has turned the sun on full power and pointed it right at him. he knows, logically, that his cheeks are burning because the blood is rushing to his face, but it feels like he's just been burnt by the sun. 

"i _know_ i love you," she responds, falling onto his lap. he feels his clothes dampen immediately, but he kisses her anyway.

"you always have to one up me, don't you?" he teases, kissing her again.

katelyn smiles into the kiss, and her teeth catch on his upper lip. "i have to keep things interesting somehow, don't i?" 

*

it continues like this:

she pulls down her shirt one day to show him the bright red heart on her chest. it matches his, but he's more interested in the scarred skin next to it.

"i was four when they did the transplant. they saved my life," she tells him. "it's why i picked medicine. i want to return to favour one day." she's the nicest person he knows, even giving renee a run for her money. she's too good for him, he knows this. her roommate stares at him with distrust most days, and he thinks everyone else knows it too.

"you're a good person," katelyn tells him. she smells like strawberries, and peppermint tea, and the truth.

"i've done bad things," he counters. it's reached the point where he thinks he'd drown without her, but there's still a part of him that knows she deserves better than him, that  _wants_  better for her.

"i don't care," she says, her eyes flashing with determination. "aaron, i love you. what you've done doesn't matter. who you were before- that's over, now. i care about who you are now, about who you want to be. that's the person i love, that's the person this is for." she places his hand on her chest, right over her mark.

this is the problem with katelyn: she insists on treating him like a person, when sometimes, he feels like so much less than that.

this is the problem with katelyn: she makes him want to be better than he knows a minyard can be. she makes him want things that he knows he can never have.

this is the problem with katelyn: she makes him believe he can have them, anyway. 

*

the racket makes a sickening crunch when it comes down- or maybe it's drake's skull. aaron's ears are ringing, and all he can hear is the sound of andrew's laughter. he makes a strangled attempt at sounding out andrew's name, and finds that his mouth refuses to say the word. he knows, objectively, that he's experiencing shock. he just completed a report on emotional distress last week, he could list all of the symptoms in his sleep. this does not make it any easier.

"what did he do?" his brother asks. "did he touch you?" andrew's fingers are white and shaking when they gently touch aaron's forehead. aaron dimly thinks that maybe it's time he reassesses andrew's diagnosis. nicky is crying and luther is denying and andrew says,  _after everything i did to keep them from each other?_ and aaron remembers finding out about andrew landing in juvie and he thinks:  _oh_.

"get out," he screams, and screams, and screams. his vision is blurry, his ears will not stop ringing, and andrew is still laughing. luther leaves, and andrew lets go of his grip on aaron, and aaron feels like he's falling, falling, falling.

andrew threatening neil is not a new sound, and it alone is not enough to break aaron out of his trance. neil lets out a broken sound that is probably meant to be andrew's name, and nicky and aaron both turn to see andrew pulling down his sleeve; he's not quick enough to hide the small, orange fox growling from the crook of his arm, but they're all smart enough to ignore it anyway. (aaron watches neil's eyes widen with shock, and notices how his fingers instantly reach down to touch his ankle. he files this away for later.)

*

katelyn pulls him into her arms when he sees her after, and he fits his head on her shoulder. it feels like coming home after a long day, it feels like he's come home from war and being reminded of what he was fighting for.

"you did what you had to do," she whispers, and it sounds like forgiveness. "you saved your brother."

later, she bribes her roommate to disappear for awhile, and they watch disney movies and eat oranges in her room.

"neil thinks that andrew killed my mother to protect me," he whispers, right after mulan saves china. katelyn turns to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "he- he used some sort of reverse psychology, and was an asshole about it, which- what's new, right? but-"

katelyn breathes out deeply. "your mother hurt you," she asks, but it sounds more like a statement. aaron simply stares at her, and katelyn just stares right back. "oh, aaron."

"that's not why i'm telling you this," he says, breaking eye-contact. "i- i think it'll be good for andrew to be taken of the drugs. i think it'll be good for  _us_."

katelyn's hesitant when she says, "i thought you didn't want their to be an  _us_?"

aaron shrugs. "he's my twin. he's all i have left."

katelyn lifts up to kiss him gently. "not anymore," she says, and it sounds like a promise.

"i don't regret it," he responds, because she needs to know. there's orange juice on his hands, and it feels like blood. there's a weight on his chest, and it feels like a coffin. "i  _can't_  regret it."

katelyn's quiet for a long moment. "i would have done the same," she says, pulling a wet-wipe out of her bedside table and gently cleaning his hands. "for my sister, for my vixens. for you."

his voice breaks in a way it hasn't since puberty. "i killed a man, kate. i ended a life."

"no," katelyn says, cupping his face in her hands. "you saved one."

*

after christmas, neil comes back from riko bloody and bruised and broken. aaron spends a few minutes assessing him, and remembers the bright orange fox on andrew's arm, remembers how neil was shocked into silence at the sight of it.

"kevin said you went because of andrew. is that true?" he asks, and after glaring at kevin, neil nods.

"yes," he answers, like it's that simple. 

aaron asks, "why? he won't be grateful." and neil spouts some bullshit about how they were both protecting him, how they both did what they had to. 

"i think neil and andrew are- andrew has an orange fox, on his arm. i think it's for neil," he tells katelyn, later.

"oh," she says, eyes widening. there's a glint in her eyes that he knows mirrors the one in his. 

"yeah," he agrees. "oh."

*

it almost ends like this:

"you need to take a stand," katelyn says, wringing her hands. her nails are unpainted, and bitten down to stubs. he knows this is killing her as much as it is him. he knows.

"you need to drop this," he says anyway. aaron and andrew don't have a lot in common, but the anger, the stubbornness- they share that. 

katelyn shakes her head, squares her shoulders. "no," she tells him, voice full of steel. he remembers when he first met her, when he marvelled at how soft she was. he knows better now: she is anything but. "no, i don't think i do. neil is right, you and andrew need to fix things. you're- he's your  _brother_ , aaron. your  _twin_. this can't go on."

he punches a wall, and pretends it's neil's face. "you're making me choose," he says, his knuckles bleeding. katelyn's eyes flash with pain as she stares at the blood dripping on the carpet. "he won't let me choose you, kate. he won't."

katelyn smiles at him, all teeth. "i guess we'll see, won't we?" (later, after baltimore, after allison says  _you made me 500 bucks_ , after andrew and neil leave together, hand in hand, he will remember this and he will realise that he and andrew have more in common than he realised. kate and neil are one in the same, and maybe he and andrew are as well.)

she walks away from him in the middle of the day, and takes pieces of him with her. he hasn't felt whole in years, but being with katelyn had helped him mend some of the broken pieces back together. she closes the door softly behind her, and it sounds like his heart shattering. 

*

life without katelyn isn't worth living. it's worse than it was before, when his mum was hitting him and he was addicted to more things than he could count, because this time he knows what happiness feels like, this time he has something to miss. 

"if he killed our mother for me, i just don't get why he never said so," aaron says, after betsy turns her tape-recorder off. "how was i meant to know?"

andrew's facial expression doesn't falter. "i did tell you," he says, his voice flat. 

aaron scoffs. "a promise to protect me months before the crash doesn't count as telling me," he argues, and andrew just raises an eyebrow. "this is stupid," aaron says, turning to betsy.

"i think we're making progress," she counters. "i think you're both learning to place yourselves in each others shoes. which is easier than it normally is, seeing as you have identical feet." neither of them crack a smile, but aaron notices andrew's mouth twitch slightly. "i think that as long as you continue to try and understand each others actions, that we can reach a peaceful middle ground. don't you agree?"

they're both silent for a long moment, and aaron thinks about how his nightmares have decreased since he started crashing andrew's therapy sessions, thinks about the katelyn shaped hole in his life that won't be filled until they sort their shit out.

"i'm trying," he says, turning to andrew. "but i think you need to put in some effort as well." andrew raises an eyebrow, and aaron smirks at him. "wanna consider renegotiating the terms of our deal?"

*

 

this is how they win:

katelyn calls him, crying. "i'm in the library," she says. "andrew and neil just left."

aaron doesn't even hesitate. he's on his feet and out the door as nicky yells out behind him. "i'm on my way," he tells her. 

"stay on the phone with me," she says, breath hitching. "i need to- just talk, okay?"

he rattles on about his last math class, voice too tense to pretend this is normal, as he races across campus to reach her. katelyn's on the floor when he gets there, and she smiles up at him. she is all sharp teeth and soft lips and aaron thinks that maybe she did win, even if andrew would never admit it.

"i told you so," she tells him, grinning. this is not her normal smile, not the one full of light and happiness. this is her hard smile. this is the smile that she wears when she says things like  _we're not as different as you like to pretend_ and  _i guess we'll see_. this is the smile that reminds him that they are one in the same. 

"you did," he agrees, and her eyes soften. her legs are still too shaky for her to stand on her own, and she slings an arm around her shoulders, lifting herself up. "i think it's about time i stop betting against you," he decides, and katelyn laughs.

"i think that's the smartest thing you've said all semester," she agrees, kissing his forehead. 

*

it come full circle like this:

their daughters have her hair and his eyes. their smiles are entirely their own.

"brooke and blaire," katelyn suggests, biting her lip. her hair is stuck to her face with sweat, and she's barely keeping her eyes open, and aaron has never loved her more than in this moment.

he nods. "the same, but different," he agrees.

"we'll get this right, for them," katelyn reassures him. "you won't be like her. we will be there for them, always."

later, when katelyn is sleeping, he sends a picture of the twins in the fox group chat. allison sends back a  _congrats, papa_ , and renee adds a long paragraph full of well-wishes on top of that; he saves it for katelyn to read later, when she's awake.

andrew and neil arrive at the hospital within the hour, neil laden down with what aaron assumes is the entire stuffed animal section of the gift shop, and andrew shoves a small stuffed fox toy in aaron's hand while neil heads straight to check up on katelyn (aaron sometimes wonders if andrew ever thinks about the fact that he ended up with the male version of katelyn, and usually can't contain his snort of laughter at he thought of pointing it out to him). nicky and erik skype them when katelyn's awake, and nicky cries over the blurry video of the babies for thirteen minutes straight.

dan responds that night; a zoomed in screenshot of the photo aaron had sent earlier, focused on the small constellation of stars on brooke's cheek. aaron sends back a series of question marks, and matt responds with another photo of the same constellation. it's on jessica's left foot.

 _guess we'll see u at christmas then, in-laws,_  he replies, and matt sends another photo of him, dan, and their eight-month-old daughter, all beaming at the camera. aaron feels a smile spread across his face as he watches katelyn and their daughters doze, and thinks that his twenty-year-old self would be absolutely disgusted with him.

(he finds himself thinking that his thirty-year-old self is too blissfully happy to care.)

 


End file.
